Analogy of a Sexy Santa


If you think about the real Santa, he’s an overweight man who only wears a red suit, he needs haircut and he only works one day a year. Why would that ever be associated with anything sexy? Maybe it’s the sexual connotation of “sit on my lap and tell me what your wishes are”. It’s easy to get your mind in the gutter and interpret this one is an X-rated way.

The slutty nurse is part of Halloween and the Sexy Santa is part of Christmas, that’s just the way our North American culture works. A few weeks ago we sold the last Sexy Santa costume of the year. One of the best fetishes for the holiday season is a Sexy Santa, our sales stats prove this but so do videos on Youtube and pictures in holiday themed erotic magazines. A sexy Santa is one of the easiest role play ideas, many couples shy away from this adults-only sexual fantasy exploration because of fear of where the story line is going, but the Santa is simple.

Playing Santa has many possibilities such as pretending he’s coming down the chimney and surprising the sleeping woman on the couch… But wait a second, Sexy Santas are always women! How odd that is, first Santa is a jolly, fully clothes fat man who needs haircut and all of a sudden it’s scantily clad woman? Where did the switch come about for this one? When you take a step back and think about this whole topic from a third person point of view, it does seem quite funny.

 

Sexy Santa

Merry Christmas!

 

There are some costumes for men but they usually consist of a hat and a red candy cane colored pouch. The Chippendale have a sexy holiday routine that’s a real turn on and I’m not sure why we never had a costume for guys this year. Maybe the average man is not like a Chippendales dancer, he’s some beer-belly man with a hairy chest. How on earth would that be sexy? At least with the woman, is she has a little pot belly sticking out the average sexy women’s costume has a teddy like top open in the front so you’ll get better coverage.

I suppose guys are really limited in their sexy Santa costume without it being the full red suit, long white beard. I think that dressing up in the full suit would be sort of creepy, that’s a darker sexual fantasy, perhaps one day we’ll explore that but I’m still enjoying being the one who dresses up after all it’s nice to hear what my man wants for Christmas, I love to hear what he likes best about me and it’s my favorite way of getting him to dump his feelings. He’s a man of few words, but when Santa comes to town, he tells me everything he wants!

Merry Christmas everybody!

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History of the Mistletoe


Kissing under the mistletoe is a well-known North American and European tradition originating as an object of ancient folklore. The mistletoe has very interesting botanical properties that will surprise you. Personally when I was researching the history, I discovered an interesting fact that does not seem to match with the obvious interpretation so I’ll start with that.

It’s quite humorous to discover the mistletoe is in fact an invasive species, a parasite that grows on trees, it reaches it’s roots into the tree and essentially steals the water from the tree. A misogynist may interpret this as kissing under the mistletoe means you’ll get infected from the woman’s charms ad she’ll choke the life out of you. Of course this is not true but it’s what came to mind originally when I first leaned about the botanical properties of this popular holiday plant.

Now back to reality and the REAL history if the mistletoe. In ancient Greece, it was an aphrodisiac and symbolized fertility which is the real reason for it’s romantic association. The history is probably in line with what you would think – kissing under it symbolizes a lasting marriage and fertility and this is true but the origins are based farther back in time in the folklore days of yore. The Roman festival called Saturnalia which is a festival held during the end of December that is quite similar to Christmas in a few ways such as gift giving, giving thanks for what you have and family celebrations. The main difference? We don’t do the sacrifices anymore, expect some vegetarians may find our turkey eating ritual to be a sacrifice.

To further emphasize the loving nature of Mistletoe, certain norther European counties associated it with peace, when given as a gift it can smooth over any neighborly conflicts. If you stand under the mistletoe, no harm can come to you, traditionally a woman would stand under it and be approached by the man who would then kiss her, it also assured that they would marry in the year to come.

These days it still means getting a kiss and it can even mean a little more. When you have your seasoned eggnog in hand and you’re stumbling around a Christmas party, to see a beautiful woman (or man) and lead them under the mistletoe for a kiss, its a perfect way to snag your kiss without having to worry about getting a bad reputation, it’s socially acceptable to pucker up at this time of year and whatever else happens can stay behind closed doors.

The  setting of a holiday party under the mistletoe is an excellent starting point for a sexual fantasy or role playing game. You can actually go to a party and pretend you don’t know each other, stand under the mistletoe and pretend to have your first kiss, which is so hot that you can’t keep your hands off each other. Now you’re frantically searching for a dark closet or a bathroom with more space. Hands slip up skirts, down blouses, a passionate embrace fueled by the butterflies of a first time sexual encounter. It’s quite hot! You’re welcome to take that one and live it out, being the frisky girl I am I just may share my full story with you one day, erotic details and all!

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Happy Thanksgiving


As one of the most anticipated holidays is upon us, it’s time to reflect and give thanks for all our blessings. No matter how difficult your personal or financial situation, we have to be thankful for living in the United States of America. Just being here means we have unlimited opportunities, we have a safe country of freedom.

thanksgiving

Photo credit: carbonNYC

 

We have many simple life necessities at hand that many others living in third world countries can only dream of. In this time for family and fellowship, make sure to take a moment and be thankful for what we have.

 

Even though this time of year can bring stress from preparing a massive dinner with all the trimmings for a large family gathering, setting up Christmas decorations and waiting in line at 5 am for Black Friday sales, it’s all part of the joyous season and as we look back when it’s all over, these routine activities are what make the season so great.

 

 

Enjoy every moment with your family, go skating in the park and watch the annual Christmas Tree lighting in your hometown. Personally I love this time of year as it’s OK to put the diet behind me and splurge on a big slice of pumpkin pie and extra turkey servings (white meat is lean so I can have a second helping without feeling guilty!) :)

In between all the festivities, make sure to take a moment with your significant other. It’s easy to put romance on the back burner as you’re occupied with other things but that special kiss under the mistletoe is a nice relief from the fast pace of the holiday season. Take a moment for an intimate massage by candlelight, tell them you love them and that you’re thankful you have this amazing person in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, enjoy your time off work and have fun with your family and don’t forget to let some romance sparkle!

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Sex Store Thievery: Funny or Creepy


Every couple of months or so, I seem to stumble upon a news headline pertaining to sex toy related crimes. Most often taken in a humorous manner and often blown out of proportion, for example when a person steals a car it hardly ever makes the headlines, except if you live in a small town.

Sometimes the news of a sex store break-in will make it across the pond into news sources. Many newspapers added the article about the man in Ohio who smashed his pickup truck through the window of a sex shop to steal an $800.oo vagina. I vividly recall this on my local television news station and it caused a chuckle in my family. Amazingly, this event made it into the Shocking News in the UK!

Today I came across a news article that’s unlike any of the other “smash-and grabs”. This example completely takes the cake. A man in our neighboring country to the north has been breaking into homes and stealing sex toys and lingerie. This peculiar story is announced here only 2 hours and 30 minutes ago, making the top headlines in yahoo news! We need to make a poll now.

Do you think this strange case of sex toy theft is:

A. Creepy
B. Funny

Reply below and comment your answer, participate in this poll and let’s see what you think! We like customer involvement and it will be interesting to see the results of your opinions.

Handcuffs

Here is our take on the whole crime. The guy must be a pervert, a very sick minded individual. What is he doing with these sex toys? It’s potentially a very disturbing thought. If someone broke into my house I would much prefer they took my stereo, watch or jewelry and left behind my sex toys, I wouldn’t be creeped out with a thief who took my diamond ring, he’s probably a drug addict who needs to pawn some goods for his next fix. The guy who stole my vibrator? I don’t want to know what fetish he has or what he’s going to do with them! Additionally, it would totally freak me out that a creep like this would be in my house in the first place. Also, I would be at a loss, I have expensive vibrators ;)

Yuck, I definitely vote for answer A, creepy, not funny. Reading the comments on this news article I can see many people think it’s funny. The comments are actually quite humourous too and I will be watching for the next few days to see what creative funny answers people have to this ordeal. I hope Jay Leno mentions it, he usually has a good perspective for such odd crimes like this and he likes talking about odd occurrences. I  hope the criminal gets caught and undergoes an intense psychological evaluation!

 

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Truth in (Romance) Fiction


It’s a natural human impulse to escape away into fantasy. It allows us to relieve the day’s stress, escaping from any family or financial problems and it’s a great source of relaxation. Again it’s natural for these fantasies to be sexual as our hormones rush through our veins in the same fashion as an orgasmic release soothing the mind, body and soul.

Men fantasize mostly while watching adult films and women have romance novels. Some may dispute this claim stating that romance is not always sexual but the undertones are always there. Every romance novel I’ve ever read has had undertones of passion which leads to sex. Even Nora Roberts who I think is a “tame” author compared to many others set the scene for a passionate kiss and always a lovemaking scene although she does not to go into detail like some other authors.

As soon as the blouse slips off the heroine’s shoulders, the chapter ends. This is like “blue balls” for me. Some women who have old fashioned “lady-like” values leave the rest of the scene to their imaginations while other who are more open and less shy about sexuality enjoy reading what comes next. This is all up to matter of personal taste however and I’m not saying that any type of woman is right, it’s completely personal opinion.

67 million American women have enjoyed a romantic fantasy. If you think that number is high, so did I until I read stats on romantic literature as published by the Romance Writers of America. Hopefully some of this readership is reading this right now as I’m about to suggest few easy ways to make your fantasy better, more involved and more pleasurable.

I’m talking about connecting your mind with your body. One of my favorite places to read a steamy story is in the bath tub. The hot water surrounding my body, the scent of patchouli bubbles, (an aphrodisiac) and the warmth of my blood matches the heat of the book. It’s one of the finest ways to enjoy womanhood in my opinion.

I like a good novel with a steamy sex scene. I also enjoy historical romance as it takes place in far away time when women were succumbed to a man’s power and will. She had her place in the world and that was with little say. I suppose that’s the submissive side coming out, if you’re into bondage at all try a historical romance, these two may seem steps apart but you’ll get my drift when the story is in full swing. It’s the whole concept of dominant and submissive which is a secret turn-on of many women. Historical romance is also good at satisfying your secret inner fetish.

Another way to really get in tune with your body is to have a vibrator at your side. Spread your favorite silk sheets on your bed, light candles on your bedside table, lock the door. Read the story and visualize everything that is happening, character development helps to make the sex scene come alive. It’s like a movie in your head but you fill in the details in the exact way you want. When the male star caresses the woman’s body, licking, sucking, bodies entwining in a never ending dance of erotic passion. Visualize these things happening to your body.

Feel your womanly wetness as it lubricates your vagina and labia in a silk wetness. Touch yourself, hold a rabbit vibrator and rub it around your lusty parts like the man licking your sweet flower. Insert it and turn on the motor, let the rabbit hug your clitoris just like the sexy hunk’s tongue dances over the hot button releasing surges of female pleasure all throughout, let the sparks fly, imagine the vibrator is the man of your dreams, forget who you are and completely slide away into the deepest erotic vision you’ve ever had. Let your mind wander turn up the power, clench your legs like he’s sliding his firm, warm manhood inside you. Imagine the rabbit ears are his fingers magically manipulating your secret spot like no other man can. Experience that orgasm with “him” inside you. Let it all flow, the release will be incomparable to anything you’ve ever felt before.

Lay there is complete bliss once it’s over. Feel the surge in your body, feel your fingers tingle and your toes as they gradually regain sensation. Enjoy the hormonal rush after the climax. You will slowly return to your real life but will carry with you the memories of the wildest fantasy you’ve ever had. Combining a vibrator with your romance novel is one of the finer things in life, a naughty little secret that feels amazingly good and the escape is so worth it!

 

Romantic couple

 

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Rabbit Vibrators Outside the Box


Rabbits and sex toys have been best buddies for a few decades. The Ying of the rounded clitoris sticking up like a rock in a waterfall and the Yang of the heavily indented twin ears fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

Assuming you’re already aware of a rabbit vibrator‘s effect on female sexual response we won’t go there but we’ll highlight some other unknown inventions. The lovely little lagomorphs are excellent representatives for adult toys because of the term “f*ck like rabbits* which they do. I actually have proof of this, a real life analogy.

A long time ago I had a rabbit named Cookie. My friend had a rabbit names Princess. We gave them a play date, supervised the whole time. They got along very well frolicking and bantering in the living room. A mere 30 days later, I went to feed Cookie only to notice something peculiar going on in her cage.

Upon closer inspection, there were tiny naked bodies writhing underneath her… I immediately called my friend and asked him to change his loyal pet’s name, Princess no longer applies as it was obviously a male and somehow impregnated my female. The conclusion to be made is the bunnies were playing, no one got humped and we did not witness any sex happening, so the phrase about rabbits having on overly active sex life is very true!

Different kind of rabbit sex toys.

Before we bore you with the same vibrators you’ve always seen, here are a few that are unusual with a similar purpose, the vibrating rabbit ring has those double ears, double vibrators to double your sexual pleasure. Does it work? You bet, although the guy may find the vibration too intense, she will enjoy the ears. The secret to making this one successful is not to thrust to quickly, it’s for stationary sex to enjoy the full effect.

Clitoral stimulators got into the mix too, a softer version for nice girls called the Bunny or quite the opposite is a brisk solid one that almost can’t pass as a clitoral stimulator as it’s much bigger with fancy Vivid colors. These may be considered far fetched but the makers of these adult products are smart. They acknowledge the rabbit’s popularity so riding the coat tails there are a few products like this that are crafted with the familiar figure to sell more toys.

A glowing example has got to be the rabbit strap on harness, honestly who would have ever though of that idea? Some creative guy somewhere, we give him props. This one is quite humorous, the bullet has a rabbit sticking out of the top which serves practically no purpose at all, some some woman somewhere will screech “ooh look at the cute little fella”.
Strap on Rabbit Harness and Vibrator
Strap on butterfly vibrators are somewhat popular too, but have you ever considered the strap on bunny vibrator? Another far fetched creation desperately attempting to grasp at straws however we’ll still give it brownie points for a cool form. Remote control vibrators need to be married to a jack rabbit for full effect, creating a mish-mash of technology and classical shape. This one ranks quite high in the monetary scale however there is a cheap rabbit vibrator or two that’s a savings grace for women without a massive budget but who still appreciate a good orgasm in the morning.

Finally this post can’t exist without touching on the best selling jack rabbit vibrator of all time. The good ol’ dependable waterproof stiffly built model with rotating beads, firm ears, clitoral vibration you know, all the good stuff that a female sex toy should have. If there is any product to purchase from today’s suggestions this one would have to win, hands down without even considering the others. That’s my personal opinion having tried all of these (yay the perks of working at a sex shop!)

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The Pocket Pussy Quiz


Sex quizzes are fun. From an X-rated magazine to a mainstream newspaper, you can find quizzes pertaining to your love life, sex and yourself. Sometimes they can be very eye-opening and lead you into a new perspective or they can be a great way to pas the time when you’re waiting for the clock to strike 5 PM at work.

Most quizzes seem to be targeted towards women since the organization of the whole procedure better appeals to a woman’s mind-set in the first place but some guys especially those with an analytical mind can appreciate a good test.

We’ve developed this quiz for men about how to buy the best pocket pussy and to make sure you’re happy with your selection.

 

1.) Do you turn the lights off when you masturbate?

A. Yes, I prefer not to witness the event.
B. I don’t pay attention to that detail.
C. No, I like to see what I’m doing.

 

2.) Do you visually fantasize while masturbating?

A. No, I just get the job done.
B. Depends if I have other things on my mind or not.
C. Yes the more I fantasize, the better the pleasure.

 

3.) Does your wife approve of using male sex toys?

A. She doesn’t know.
B. Yes, She doesn’t care / I don’t have a woman in my life.
C. Yes, She has a drawer full of the latest and greatest vibrators.

 

4.) Do you watch porn often?

A. No, either I’m not very interested or I have nosy roommates
B. Yes bit I’m not a fan of any particular actress.
C. Yes, I follow all the biggest names in the adult biz.

 

5.) Do you prefer budget or quality?

A. All budget, every day.
B. I indulge in the finer things in life from time to time.
C. Only the best, designer labels, fine wine etc.

 

6.) What is your favorite sexual position?

A. Missionary
B. Any position where I can get a good look at her closely.
C. Legs spread as wide as possible.

 

7.) Is the feeling of a vagina the best thing in the world?

A. I’m indifferent.
B. Absolutely.
C. It’s nice but I can get off in many different ways.

 

If you answered mostly A:
A simple discreet option is best for you. You’d appreciate something other then your hand but a big overbearing piece of faux-flesh may make you feel uncomfortable. Think masturbation sleeve instead of pocket pussy. You may be interested in the Caliente or the Crystal.

 

If you answered mostly B:
A thicker pocket pussy with realistic features in a compact size will make you happier. A realistic life like experience is possible with one of the middle-sized versions especially Aimee Sweet. Another fantastic option that feel slightly less real but still falls into the same category and will make you a very happy guy is the Sunrise pussy.

 

If you answered mostly C:
You need the real deal. A full size realistic vagina is the most realistic looking male sex toy, nothing compares to these especially for you. It’s quite the spurge but for the guy like you, you’ll never need to purchase another kind ever again.  Every popular porn star has her own artificial vagina available allowing you to get inside her in the most real way possible.

 

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Hypnotic Audio Stories


Lately when people ask what I do, I’ve said that I produce hypnotic audio stories. But for many of my listeners, a hypnotic audio story can be a deeply erotic experience.

A few years ago, the idea of virtual reality peaked a lot of interest. People became fascinated by the idea that they could experience an entire adventure (all the sights, sounds and physical sensations) by immersing themselves in a computer program. Computers never quite delivered total immersion, but the human mind always had this ability.

The human mind has many fascinating abilities, including the ability to trance. Trance enables us to recall more clearly the sights, sounds and feelings we have in our memories. Trance enables us to focus on the moment and shut out distractions, or to step outside of the moment and imagine future possibilities. Trance enables us to lose ourselves in music and story; to sympathize with the characters and feel what they feel. Trance enables us to become sexual aroused and enjoy the sensual pleasures of our bodies. And all of this can be accessed through hypnosis.

Stories have a special ability to engage our minds. When you read, or hear, a particularly good story, you naturally visualize what the words describe. You see in your mind the people, the places, the action described by the words. To do this, you actually place yourself in a light trance. And when I tell a story with hypnotic language patterns, I help my listener’s go even deeper into a trance; one which enables them to actually feel the physical sensation of kisses and caresses as I describe them.

For many listeners this provides an opportunity to explore a sexual fantasy in complete safety that they might otherwise be too afraid to experience. You can be seduced by a stranger, tied to the bed and teased to orgasm, be kidnapped and trained as a slave, learn to enjoy fellatio, or even be raped by a demon.

Hypnotic audio stories also provide an entertaining way to help women overcome sexual inhibitions, and expand their sexuality. Many of my stories include post-hypnotic suggestions and positive affirmations for increased sexual desire and pleasure with real lovers. My recording, The Ultimate Kiss, has helped several women overcome their inhibitions about fellatio. And my upcoming recording, Reorienting, will include suggestions to help shy bi-curious women accept their desire to be with other women and become more open to exploring their desires.

Hypnotic audio stories offer endless possibilities for exploring and enhancing our sexuality. And I look forward to helping people discover, enjoy, and benefit from this new art form.

Daniel
Hypnotic Dreams: Hypnotic Audio Stories for Men and Women
http://www.hypnoticdreams.com

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Sexy Celebrity Costumes


This Halloween-themed write-up is a day late on purpose. Instead of giving you ideas on what to be for this ghoulish night of joy, we’re showing you what really matters – the costumes of your favorite celebrity. It’s the perfect opportunity to dress up sexy. Nice girls can play naughty on this night.

What’s the appeal to dressing up as a slutty nurse? If you’re normally a more modest girl and you like the respect from men by not exposing your breasts every day but you know they look good. If God (or a plastic surgeon) gifted you with a well endowed chest, Halloween is the only time of year it’s socially acceptable to “let it all out” so to speak.

We would love to see your costume.  If you’ve uploaded your picture to Twitter leave your TwitPic at the bottom and share it with us!

The same stance of dressing outrageously only on one day can’t really be said for celebrities as they often dress to be noticed in public on a normal Tuesday so you know their costumes will have the standard set a little higher then  the regular public. Here is the rundown of some Sexy celebrity Halloween costumes from last’s nights festivities.

 

sexy halloween costume

Paris Hilton brings out the sexy vintage styling of She-Ra

 

We have a great tale to share, a customer purchased 6 blush dildos to be teats on the udder of a cow. Maybe he’ll do the right thing and email us some pictures of the results. You could only imagine what that looked like, it’s probably for a costume contest and we hope he won, especially the prize for homemade creativity. If you’re reading his Mr.Anonymous, please email us a picture of your cow costume!

We don’t really advertise many Halloween themed accessories however this year we were presented the Adult Pumpkin carving kit which proved to be quite a good seller. It has been taken off the shelves until next year so it’s not available anymore, but we did have a big handful of customers who left a naughty carving on their doorstep. Hopefully for the children’s sake they left the pumpkin inside and used it as a decoration for their own adults-only party!

If you missed out on the dressing up and participating in extroverted public role play, Christmas is another opportunity to bring out the sexy Santa, although nothing can beat the scantily clad french maid!

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The Reality of Lesbian Sex Toys


For bisexual and lesbian women, it can be hard to find certain resources on the internet. The whole idea seems to be tainted by the sexual fantasy desires of men.

If you try to type a search for lesbian sex stories, the results are usually porn related. Why is it so hard to find a real column documenting the tales of a one night stand from a realistic point of view? One of our fellow staff members found an active column with a great conversation going by real people, actual women who like women.

It’s not an overly sexed fantasy dream like twenty something men even have (even 15 year old guys enjoy the fanatsy but we can’t really admit this) so if you’re looking to connect and share your opinion, take a look at this column called Sleeping Around #1: “Why I’m So Easy”. It’s actually quite good and we assume that the title #1 means there will be others to follow.

Another difficulty lesbians have online is trying to find real sex toys. If you type the term “Lesbian Sex Toys” in your favorite search engine, we really doubt you’ll find what you’re looking for. We tried – the results are filled with wannabe adult film stars using sex toys, webcam sites and that’s not what we want to see.

If you ask most lesbians they don’t mind using a vibrator that looks like a penis. In fact some of these offer women the best feeling and who cares if it looks like a penis, for many this does not matter. Of course of you’re squeamish about the penis thing that’s okay too.

Double dildos are also mistakenly targeted towards lesbians assuming it’s a popular pastime to “share” an end. Heterosexual couples enjoy these too so we’re not convinced double ended dildos are for the targeted niche. We think it’s a couple’s toy regardless of the sexual preference of the couple.

Luckily we’ve got plenty of vibrators and even some dildos without an over phallic look. Just try searching for normal sex toys and leave the lesbian thing out of it. One is good for all, we say so begin your search here for anything that you think will feel good.

What is your opinion, we’d like to hear from the bisexual and lesbians out there, do you like a penis shaped vibes or would you prefer something a little less “manly”?

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